Às vezes sinto como se estivesse de volta a infância. Corro tão rápido como se minhas pernas fossem ser arrancadas do resto do meu corpo. Vejo os mesmos filmes várias e várias vezes até decorar todas as falas. Escuto as músicas mais alegres quando ninguém as quer ouvir. Falo com meu cachorro como se ele fosse meu terapeuta. Faço chá para mim e para minha gata como se ela fosse uma velha amiga. Durmo com meus ursos de pelúcia do lado caso eu acorde à noite assustada com um pesadelo. Mas não importa o quanto eu tente voltar no tempo, tudo é em vão quando me lembro que estou sozinha e que tudo o que faço, não é por que quero voltar a ser pequena. Mas por que quero voltar a ser feliz.
segunda-feira, 19 de julho de 2010
I don’t know why I keep torturing myself. It hurts so much, and when it doesn’t hurt I’m just empty. I’m not saying I’m miserable. Because I’m not. I just had to learn how to not be miserable. I also had to learn to be strong. My tears will dry, but nothing will bring him back. I accept that. At least I think I do. But why the tears don’t end?
She: Are you Happy?
He (hesitates): Yes, I am. Why?
She: Because I don't think I am. I mean, by day, I'm happy. But then the night comes, and I go to bed all alone and I am completely sleepless. So I stay the whole night wondering about things. And I usually cry until I sleep. That means I'm not happy. Right?
He: Maybe. But maybe, you're not miserable. You're just scared and alone. Like we all are. You just have to find someone that is as scared as you are, then you won't feel alone anymore.
He (hesitates): Yes, I am. Why?
She: Because I don't think I am. I mean, by day, I'm happy. But then the night comes, and I go to bed all alone and I am completely sleepless. So I stay the whole night wondering about things. And I usually cry until I sleep. That means I'm not happy. Right?
He: Maybe. But maybe, you're not miserable. You're just scared and alone. Like we all are. You just have to find someone that is as scared as you are, then you won't feel alone anymore.
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